Better Banter

You know, I hope the reason the police can't find this scumbag is that somebody else found him first.

The Democrats have perhaps decided that they can no longer take the black vote for granted. While that might be good, they've gone about pursuing that vote in an appalling way, and made two patronizing mistakes in the same day. First, Hillary Clinton announced a ridiculous idea to give $5,000 to every child born in America. She's made campaign speeches daily for months, and this is the first we hear of it. Any significance to today, rather than any other day? Well her audience just happened to be a forum put on by the Congressional Black Caucus. Which came first... the thought that blacks can't be spoken to rationally, and must be pandered to like children, or the race hustlers who make Democrats feel compelled to pay such inane tribute? Next, John Edwards said what might be the most racist thing I've heard any politician say in my lifetime: “We cannot build enough prisons to solve this problem. And the idea that we can keep incarcerating and keep incarcerating — pretty...

The subject of illegal immigration has been all the rage for some time now and has been dominating presidential candidate interviews, speeches and debates almost as if there is an answer to be found somewhere in the how-to manual one receives upon taking that seat in the Oval Office. This has got me thinking about how our government can really help solve this dilemma. Let me set the stage, and for the moment remove the group of folks who want to take up residence in the U.S. simply for its unbeatable welfare and free healthcare programs. The problem is we have business owners in search of a profit in need of workers. We have foreign-born persons seeking a paycheck making their way past the perverbial Ellis Island guard shack to provide them labor. The two come together and form a partnership by a wink and a nod, with one party agreeing to do work somebody needs done in exchange for cash and a promise not to hold them accountable for paying taxes (by deducting all those wonderful th...

Lindsay Lohan, you've done it again. The last time you got bagged and sent to rehab, we thought you'd learned a lesson - let your friends drive and hold your (insert illegal drug or illicit narcotic here) for you. But like Robert Downey, Jr., Lindsay will be back. And it won't matter if its in a starring role or as a B-movie extra, she'll still somehow maintain an income stream, have millions to burn and appear on the cover of People. We'll probably see her featured on Entertainment Tonight , too, because apparently America can't get enough of the likes of her, Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears or (insert Hollywood no-talent drug addict here.) And to think I once got fired for showing up for work one Saturday morning with a slight hangover at the warehouse job I had in high school. Funny how life is, ain't it?

If I were to be given the choice of Lieberman for President, or let the election take its course, it'd be tempting to take Lieberman (such a choice has actually not been offered to me, nor cleared by the Independent Senator, but I like to be prepared). He'd be solid on terror, and when it comes down to it, isn't that the most important thing? Would it be worth gambling and winding up with a cutter and runner for the chance at someone better on domestic issues? I guess it depends on what the GOP's chances are, and frankly, I like them. I think all the top-tier R's are electable, all have more experience than the Dems, and they all bring "gravitas" to the ticket. Further, the top Dems lack experience, with the most experienced (Billary) carrying a truckload of negatives. Interestingly though, Intrade says the betting money is on the Dems. Quick primer on Intrade: basically you buy a contract that pays off if a certain event happens. Like a Democrat winning ...

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) is quoted as uttering these words following last night's all-night session called by Majority "Leader" Harry Reid. The statement's context is intended as a criticism of the Republicans for utilizing the cloture requirement of 60 votes to end a debate and put a matter to a vote. It illustrates perfectly the reason for Congress' abysmal approval ratings, currently lower than those of President Bush: NONE of them get it. Claire and everyone else following Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid on the Good Ship Stop-n-Drop are trying to make this out to be the Republicans against the Democrats. The Iraq debate isn't some college contest to see who comes away with the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship belt. There's no scorecard to which our esteemed elected representatives ought to be checking to see if they are winning. When it comes to Iraq, we have a major problem needing a solution not a fight in the middle of the night whe...

It is troubling that our enemies in the global conflict in which we find ourselves (not the one involving melting polar ice caps and more energy efficient light bulbs but the other one) are waging a brilliant campaign. While American soldiers are in the desert driving tanks and operating Humvees, taking small arms fire and encountering normally mundane roadside devices boobytrapped to explode, our enemies have worked within our own borders to pit us against one another and divide our nation against the war's just, noble and righteous causes. The enemy has been successful in fracturing and degrading support for our military's efforts, and the only thing preventing the final wedge into the resolve of the American people may be a successful suicide bomber on our own soil. But I'm not talking about Al Qaeda or Hamas, Hezbollah or even somebody's brigade (there's seems to be so many these days, I've lost track.) I'm referring to the efforts of the Left. Liber...

Now this is American ingenuity at its finest. Some enterprising individuals have devised the "Carbon Debit" as a way to offset lefty offsets. Rather than simply talking about Gore's hypocritical scheme of indulgences, these folks are doing something about it. It's kind of like a reverse indulgence (in the papal sense of the word). "I want to make sure that guy gets to hell." Be sure to check out exactly how they make a carbon debit . For Lefties, this has got to be like the SpongeBob episode where skinflint Mr. Krabs is forced to watch a dollar bill get shredded in a blender. If you don't have kids, ignore that last comment.

Granted, the Nazis were monsters, but is there to be a new Frankenstein army of the Third Reich? Check out this Der Spiegel headline and lead: Germany Considers Rehabilitating Soldiers Executed for 'Treason' Most of the 30,000 Germans sentenced to death by Nazi Germany's military courts have been rehabilitated. So far, however, soldiers found guilty of treason -- in many cases unjustly, have been excluded. Now, though, Germany's parliament may be prepared to do just that. Further reading suggests something is lost in translation, but perhaps German engineering is more advanced than we thought. Surely a cure for global warming is at hand!

Wow. I have yet to see 300 , but the respect I was contemplating throwing Frank Miller's way has grown exponentially. Must read (link requires worse-than-usual-pain-in-the-ass registration, but it's worth it). Via Michelle Malkin . Choice quote: "I think it's ridiculous that we set aside certain groups and say that we can't risk offending their ancestors. Please. I'd like to say, as an American, I was deeply offended by 'The Last of the Mohicans.' " More... At a comic book convention in 2006, he announced that he was working on a book about Al Qaeda attacking Gotham City that would be titled "Holy Terror, Batman!" People glanced around to see if he was joking. He wasn't. The book is still not out, and in the industry there is the general sense that the project has stalled a bit. At the W, though, Miller said about 120 pages of his Batman tale have been drawn and inked and he's starting in on the "final 50 or so." He sai...

Interesting. A Dutchman named Johan Huibers has made a half-scale version of Noah's ark , nearly three storeys high. Part of his inspiration seems to be that his Dutch lowlands might soon be flooded by global warming. Might be a nice consolation if climate change hysteria made people get religion, but reason tells me that if you believe man is solely responsible for changing the planet's climate, you're not thinking much about God in the first place.

Rocky II is not by any stretch a message movie. It's an action movie that is by most accounts greatly inferior to its predecessor. But it holds a special spot in my heart, as I can remember with vivid detail being nine or ten years old and watching the television debut, crowded around a nine-inch black-and-white TV, with my entire family, wildly screaming at Rocky to get up off the canvas. What I remember about subsequent viewings (and there have been many), however, is not the fight, but the "gong moment." What was the gong moment and why do I bring it up today? Well the movie takes a long time to unfold. Rocky had lost a split-decision to Apollo Creed and tried to find a life outside of boxing. When Creed asks for a rematch to prove to the world that the last fight was a fluke, Rocky, out of other options, agrees. His wife, Adrian, does not support his decision. At one point she tells him, harshly, "You can't win!" Rocky goes about his trai...

Last night I finally got around to watching the History Channel's excellent special on Sherman's March. A fascinating anecdote related to Confederate troops mining the roads on Sherman's path. When Sherman is brought to a wounded union soldier whose foot was blown off by a mine, Sherman angrily called for Confederate prisoners to be brought to the front. They would go first from now on and dig up the mines in the road. The rebels balked, but Sherman was furious and insisted they do it, telling them he didn't care if they blew up. However he also dispatched a prisoner to seek out the Confederate general in the area to tell him that rebel prisoners would be tasked with mine removal and walk in front from now on. There were no more minings. We can't draw too close a parallel between Sherman's roadside bombs and the ones killing our troops in Iraq. We can't strap Guantanamo detainees to the front of Humvees, and even if we could, it wouldn't even slow the te...

I arrive at this story a bit late, but it's a subject worth some discussion. Last week Republican Congressman Wayne Allard demanded that North Korea return the U.S.S. Pueblo to the United States. In exchange, he offered a 19th Century Korean battle flag. With constituents in Pueblo, Colorado, Allard believes it is time for this ship to be sent home. Here's where embarrassment set in for me. The Pueblo? Rings a bell. What's North Korea doing with it? How'd they get it? Why have we let them keep it? A quick primer from the official U.S.S. Pueblo website only heightened my embarrassment. As an American, I should have known about this. Here's a quick, over-simplified summary, after which I'll get to my point. In January, 1968, the Pueblo was performing electronic surveliance off the coast of North Korea. The Navy maintains that the Pueblo was in international waters, and was therefore doing nothing illegal. North Korea obviously says differently. The Pueblo was eng...

John McCain were married to the conservative wing of the party, he'd be considered a serial adulterer. He's been doing his best to convince his jilted better half that he's been faithful all along, but few are buying it. Some apologists do a wonderful job telling us McCain is the conservative standard-bearer this primary season. Phil Gramm's WSJ op-ed might have convinced me had I not watched the news over the last six years. McCain took every opportunity to undermine President Bush on any subject. Never forget that he voted against Bush's 2001 tax cut. Never forget McCain-Feingold, or the selling out of Don Rumsfeld. But just in case you needed another reason, just as the science of global warming has started to face the scrutiny it deserves, McCain declares the case closed , and that Bush has been bungling it for years: "This administration's record on global warming is terrible," McCain said. "I've held hearings for years and got no cooper...

Senator Clinton announced on Saturday that President Bush must begin to "redeploy" U.S. troops in Iraq within 90 days, or risk Congress revoking authorization for the war. It doesn't take a magic decoder ring to figure out the message being sent to the bad guys in all of this. Hang on a little bit longer, and we'll be ready to give up and get out of your way. Bizarre that the way the Dems decide to get tough is to push around a battered new ally. The Iraqi government must step up... or else . What was the last tough message sent to anyone who was actually a threat to our our troops? Clinton, of course, is in a rough spot. She is a veteran of presidential politics, and knows what it will take to win the general election, and that cut-and-run won't cut it. Of course, the dingbats in her own party are forcing her to impossibly triangulate in order to appease the rabid anti-war left. But the Dems seem quite willing to cut off their own nose to spite their face. Bob S...